A Meditation On Relation

As I sat in traffic recently, an undertaking that often engenders emotions of sadness, confusion and outrage, a bumper sticker in front of me begged for attention. It read, “Don’t let idiots ruin your day.” I was taken aback by the rhetoric of care for another’s day and my first reaction was to smile for having related to the attitude of a fellow human. I often times let situations and people that I see as idiotic transport me into a consciousness space of agitation which frequently leads to detachment and sadness. I realized, however, that I was relating to a sentiment of the segregation of beliefs and attitudes amongst people. In other words, I was relating to the fact that we can’t relate to each other. As I realized the weight associated with my personal resonance with such a statement my smiles were replaced with a feeling of emptiness.

What does it mean that I can’t understand how many of my fellow humans perceive their reality? Why do I get upset at the actions and attitudes of my peers? What does it mean that people view one another as idiots for their failure to undertake situations in similar ways? What does it mean that I passionately disagree with the way that some people choose to exist? I believe that all things are deeply interconnected in a way that pushes our current conceptualizing abilities--that all people are telepathically sharing their experiences on a deep subconscious level and through this relationship, are actively co-creating their realities together. With this belief where relation is so paramount, it is dumbfounding to me to be so out of agreement with what seems like the majority of people around me. Glimpses of Wal Mart and McDonalds and Marlboro only amplify this feeling of estrangement. The questions raised within me by the sight of the bumper sticker made me realize that I am far from being at peace with my relationship with other humans and this lack of harmony with my fellow beings is without a doubt influencing the creation of the reality we share together.

Through my spiritual journey and self-education I have come to view much of the current paradigm of human existence to be disgusting, evil and unhealthy for all things sentient and not. I have no desire to list events, laws, people or ideals that brought me to this conclusion but I know within myself, that in the big picture, humans have been and continue to write pages of history that are filled with hate, contempt, bigotry and ugliness. However, I am in no way interested in downplaying the presence of positivity in the world. Throughout my life, the inner drive to understand myself, other people and our shared condition called life has led me to amazing things, people and ideas. I am grateful beyond words for the beautiful things my consciousness has come into contact with and I am unsure how I would make it through some days without this base of enlightened knowledge that has been so graciously shared with me. Many thoughts both ancient and contemporary have deeply resonated with my soul, with the very essence of my existence. While many of these personal findings and spiritual seekings have stroked my being with warmth, love and understanding, my comprehension of them has further alienated me from the world in which I participate every day, a world that is stark in contrast to the things that resonate with me and make me feel at home in myself. I came to realize recently that this feeling of bittersweetness about my life in this world, the very same feeling I had when reading the bumper sticker in traffic weeks ago, is the root of my suffering on Earth. It seems the more positivity I invite into my existence the more I am severed from the majority.

Times when my optimism takes a hold of me are liberating and eye-opening. Being able to enjoy the beauty amongst all the evil is no doubt keeping me aligned and motivated to keep seeking but I can’t help but feel as though I am cheating myself by accepting or tolerating so much bad. I don’t want the glimpses of good to keep me appeased in the charade that is life on Earth in 2008. When I share time with other driven souls or when I am in my own space reading, writing and stumbling upon, I feel okay about my situation and secure in my journey to find my own truth. On the other hand, when I am out and about participating in the world I sometimes feel as though I am just another opiated body in the masses, accepting what is force-fed to me. I pay Xcel Energy, Comcast, Conoco and the like on a regular basis. I sit in traffic. While I try focus much of my attention on positive and enlightening subjects, as soon as I take one step into the world of capitalist consumption I am washed over by feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes I feel that my only hope is to detach from civilization, to get off the grid and live simply in harmony with nature. While this is an attractive daydream, I realize that it is only that. Living off the grid might bring me brief peace and happiness but it doesn’t bring me any closer to human beings that I am permanently bound to. Hence, it will not end my suffering.

While mindfully participating in the system and attempting to infuse some love into it can be painful and hard it doesn’t compare to the feeling of confusion I get when trying to relate to other people not as mindful in their participation. I can in no way understand the viewpoint of ‘things aren’t that bad.’ It is impossible for me to see eye-to-eye with people that have no problem with the countless unhealthy and counterproductive ruts civilization has found itself engrained in. Watching the placated multitudes as they trudge through life mindlessly searching for an impossible happiness defined by an oligarchy of evil gives rise to feelings beyond pain. And one of the reasons why it hurts me so much is because I can see a piece of myself locked into the charade. How can I not be attached to a way of life that I was subconsciously taught to believe in for my entire life? How can I, as a social ape innately interested in the opinion of others, not care about the way that my peers are choosing to live?

I feel that through my seeking and journeying thus far, I have effectively stripped some of the veils of illusion away from my eyes. This perception through the opaque lies of 23 years embedded in a force-fed reality definitely gives rise to feelings of alienation and confusion. What makes these feelings worse when they do arise is that when I look to those around me, I seldom see people enforcing and embodying what I know to be true. I see close friends and relatives, good people, either blinded by the charade or so apathetic that they effectively hand the very veil used to blind them to the very force doing the deceiving. Witnessing people’s ignorance and apathy towards things that get me so fired up and driven on a daily basis makes me feel lonely and uncertain of humanity’s ability to evolve out of the blinding paradigm that begs to define our lives. Why don’t people care enough to turn off the TV and turn on their cognition? Why don’t people have the drive to try to understand the mysteries of life on earth? Why don’t people put down their guns and pick up a guitar or a paintbrush? These are questions that mean the world to me.

My hope is that by living in a way that is true to my being I will be able to inspire others to infuse tenacity into their personal journey. I’m sick of the slow cycles of change and I will do my best to detach from those practices, businesses and ideals that I know are counterproductive to a harmonious life. I will honor the undercurrent of oneness that I know exists by acting selflessly and compassionately. I invite a new method of relating to my fellow humans into my life. Instead of echoing the sentiment of ‘don’t let idiots ruin your day’ I will try my best to ‘understand and relate to the idiot.’ I will share my ideas and beliefs in a deferential way and stay open to the ideas and beliefs of others. Coming together is the only way we will come to peace. As ONE.



Be The Fish

The mountain stream of life
Courses with opportunity
A drifting leaf skims the surface
While a river rock commands the depths
The mighty fish knows both the ripples and the stones
And in living
Turns opportunities into realities.




“An unexamined life is not worth living.” –Socrates




Why should I wish to see God better than this day?
I see something of God in each hour of the twenty-four, an
each moment then,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own
face in the glass;
I find letters from God dropped in the street, and every
one is signed by God’s name,
And I leave them where they are, for I know that others
will punctually come forever and ever.


I too am not a bit tamed….I too am untranslatable
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.
--From Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman